Life on the Hill

Recently Bhagavan himself changed the verses of “Atmabodha” which are in venba metre into the kalivenba metre by writing them afresh. As they have now been printed in a book form, that has since been the topic of frequent discussions in Bhagavan’s presence.

Recently Bhagavan himself changed the verses of “Atmabodha” which are in venba metre into the kalivenba metre by writing them afresh. As they have now been printed in a book form, that has since been the topic of frequent discussions in Bhagavan’s presence. Yesterday afternoon, Bhagavan himself said, addressing a devotee sitting nearby: “Look. When we were in the Virupaksha Cave I wrote in this small note book in the Malayalam script at the request of Palaniswami a good portion of Sankara’s slokas and upadesas. This “Atmabodha” also is found in that notebook; but at that time I did not feel like writing a commentary thereon. Off and on, the slokas used to come to my mind. You know what happened once. We all started to go to the summit of the Arunachala Hill, with all necessary things for cooking our food and eating it whenever and wherever convenient. That was when we were in the Virupaksha Cave. Palaniswamy stayed behind in charge of the cave. By the time we reached the Edudonalu (Seven Ponds) it was rather hot. So, we bathed and then wanted to cook our food. We took out the cooking vessels and all the foodstuffs, such as dhal, salt and ghee and also arranged the fireplace and then found that we had not brought the most important thing of all, namely the matchbox. The cave was too far away to go and fetch a matchbox. Moreover, it was very hot and everyone was terribly hungry. Some tried to make a fire by striking one piece of flint against another but without success. Some tried to rub one piece of wood against another as they do in Yagnas for lighting the sacrificial fire, but that too was not successful. The second stanza in “Atmabodha” came to my mind, namely,

baexae=Ny saxne_yae sa]aNmae]Ek saxnm!,

pakSy viNhvt! }an< ivna mae]ae n isXyit.

“I read it out, explained the meaning and kept them all in good humour.”

Another devotee said, “We do not know the meaning of that sloka.”

Bhagavan replied with a smile, “You want to know its meaning? It means that just as you cannot cook whatever articles you may have unless you have fire, so also you cannot attain liberation (moksha) unless you have jnana.”

“What happened afterwards?” asked someone.

Bhagavan said, “Someone appears to have sent word through one of the grass-cutters who was returning home with head-loads of grass. Palaniswami sent a matchbox through some one of those going up the hill for woodcutting. Subsequently we lit a fire, cooked and ate. You know how the cooking was done? Rice, dhal and vegetables were all put in one vessel and boiled together and then some salt was added. A kitchadi (hotchpotch) was thus made. All of us had decided on it beforehand. After food, we took a little rest and then started for the summit. To enable them to understand the stanza ‘Bodhonya Sadhanebhyo’ I continued to explain its full significance to them during our walk. On reaching the summit, I said to them, ‘You see the amount of trouble experienced in reaching here. We climbed to a little extent and then had to mix a lot of things and eat before we could climb farther. For preparing the food we had no fire, and so nothing could be done. Similarly, you may have everything for teaching and learning but without understanding there cannot be full ripening of wisdom. With that fire of jnana all worldly things must be mixed up and swallowed to attain the highest state.’ After that we came back straight to the cave before it was

dark. In those days we never felt it difficult or tiresome to go to the summit; so we used to go whenever we felt like it. When I think of it nowadays, I begin to wonder whether I ever went to the summit.”

“Is it a fact that Echamma and others also used to accompany you?” I asked. “Yes. Even the old woman, Mudaliar Patti, used to come with us. Both of them used to bring food everyday without fail. They would not listen to me. Even if I went away somewhere just to avoid them, they used to find me out somehow,” said Bhagavan. I remarked, “We complain of pain in the legs for several days if we go up to Skandasramam even once. It is remarkable how these old women managed to go up to Skandasramam everyday with a bundle on their head, and sometimes elsewhere also, wherever Bhagavan happened to be. Their great desire to fall at the feet of Bhagavan perhaps gave them the required strength.” With a nod of approval and a smile, Bhagavan was silent.