The Awakening at Madurai

At the age of sixteen, Venkataraman experienced a profound transformation that would change his life forever. While sitting alone in his uncle's house in Madurai, a sudden and intense fear of death overwhelmed him.

At the age of sixteen, Venkataraman was living in his uncle’s house in Madurai, leading an ordinary life. One afternoon, while sitting alone in an upstairs room, a sudden and overpowering fear arose within him. It was not caused by illness or any external danger, but came without warning, filling him completely.

He became firmly convinced that death had come. Instead of calling for help or giving way to panic, he lay down on the floor, stretching his limbs as though his body had already become lifeless. He held his breath and closed his lips tightly, imitating the state of a corpse.

Then, with full attention, he began to watch what was happening within. He asked himself what it was that was dying. The body lay still, but something within remained fully aware. He observed that though the body might be motionless and speechless, the sense of being — the awareness of “I” — was not affected.

As he continued to observe, it became clear to him that the body was not himself. The body could be discarded, but the awareness that knew the body could not be destroyed. This recognition arose directly, without effort, without doubt.

After some time, the fear vanished entirely. Venkataraman stood up, calm and silent. Nothing outward had changed, yet everything was different. From that day, his interest in ordinary life gradually faded. School, home, and worldly concerns no longer held the same meaning.

His thoughts increasingly turned toward Arunachala, the sacred hill he had once heard mentioned casually. Without making plans or informing anyone, he would soon leave Madurai, drawn by an inner certainty that did not require explanation.